HG Wells: The Shape of Things to Come (1979) Directed by George McCowan starring Nicholas Campbell, Anne-Marie Martin, Barry Morse and Jack Palance
Once in every lifetime comes a film that is so riveting and relevant for critics and the movie goers alike that it lives forever in the public consciousness... but not this one.
Before I begin, I'd like to say that this review was inspired by Christopher Mills Space 1970 Blog whose write up encouraged me to find this title and try to watch it. I remember seeing this film as a child years ago and wanted to relive the experience. I ordered a DVD copy from Blue Underground. That being said I'll try to give my own perspective on this film without trying to plagiarize his article (Not too much anyway).
The Shape of Things to Come is a fine example of taking advantage of the de-valued Canadian dollar in order to finance a film. In 1977 (when Canadian dollars were the equivalent of the Rupee) the success of Star Wars showed Hollywood that science fiction theatre could bring in box office success and large audiences. Subsequently throughout the latter part of the '70's studios domestic and international were clamoring to make a space opera knock-off that would rake in critical acclaim and blockbuster gold. Directed by George McCowan of Frogs, (You know your in trouble when you hire a guy who did a movie about killer frogs) no doubt the producers of this film were hoping to create a sci-fi epic in the tradition of Star Wars and instead came out with an unintentional laughing stock that makes Space Balls look like an Oscar winning drama. Poor Herbert George Wells would probably have been red faced with embarrassment and anger should he have seen this poorly edited piece of shlock cinema with his name attached. (at the moment he is just rapidly spinning in his grave).
One may ask with actors like Barry Morse (Space:1999), John Ireland (Spartacus), Anne-Marie Martin (Buck Rogers) and Carol Lynley (The Poseidon Adventure), how could this movie go wrong? Very badly I'm afraid.
This film is not to be confused with the 1936 Alex Korda film Things to Come which is a much more faithful adaptation of Wells novel, (Considering that Wells actually participated in the process of that movie), this one is far, far, far, far, far worse... which makes it all the more fun. Be forewarned that this version is not for the faint of heart or for those suffering from ADD, for this film would make Dino DeLaurentis and Roger Corman look like Masterpiece Theatre. (Oh Raymond Massey, where are you?).
So without further ado let's begin with the plot.
That about sums it up... but seriously...
According to the opening crawl the time is the tomorrow after tomorrow, (You know you're in trouble when the opening credits need to be corrected by a grammar coach), just after the Great Robot Wars (a major plot point that I somehow missed in the Wells novel).
Because of the poisonous atmosphere of the Earth, humanity has established permanent colonies on the moon. Why? Because moon colonies are cool. Are they practical considering that later we find that Earth is actually inhabitable? No but we have to show off the wonderful model work we've done making the domed city of New Washington. Speaking of New Washington it seems that the interior shots of the city look suspiciously like Toronto's CNE (Hurry up we only have the place rented for an hour). The citizens live under the dependency of an anti radiation drug Radic Q-2 which can be found in abundance on the Planet Delta-3. (Somehow the elements of a Utopian society run by benevolent polymaths is completely missing in this Wells version).
To continue the city falls under kamikaze attack by a cargo ship piloted by a suicide bot carrying the drug. (The robot probably being Japanese). As the film progresses we find that the robots of Delta-3 have been re-programmed by a villain named Omus played by the legendary Western bad guy Jack Palance (Whose wardrobe was lifted from his appearance on Buck Rogers that same year and I would be errant if I didn't mention the fashionable purple cape). Omus, it turns out has taken over Delta -3 with his vast army of six robots and now plans to take over the moon by with-holding the precious drug that is essential to the survival of the human race (on the moon I guess... not on Delta -3 where the drug is in abundance and not on Earth which is sparsely inhabited).
Moon leader Senator Smedley (John Ireland) decides the best thing to do is secure the Moon and selfishly stop shipments of the anti radiation drugs to Earth. Dr. Cabell (Barry Morse, trying to sport an American accent) balks at Omus' demands and threatens war. In fact he seems to be chomping at the bit to pull the trigger (For a scientist he sure seems aggressive) going so far as to launch his new starship the Star Streak (Hmmm... sounds like the title for a Hollywood reality show) and take the fight to Delta-3 himself. Which later is exactly what he does.
Smedley is outraged at Dr. Cabell's show of heroism and threatens to stop his new ship. (Wow, this guy is a total dickhead) The question of exactly why this new vessel is so offensive to Senator Smedley's sensibilities is not really answered. Is the cost prohibitively expensive? Is it because the technology is untried? Was the entire engineering team comprised of former terrorists? No one knows. The city's central computer Lomax, also feels that Dr. Cabell's sentiments are out of line and feels that Smedley's course of action is the right one. You know for a computer that's supposed to run the city and serve humanity it's pretty callous to the well being of it's citizens. (Lomax is of course Bernie Lomax whose dead soul has been transferred into the electronic brain of the computer).
Smedley's daughter, Kim (Anne-Marie Martin) decides to investigate the suicide robot and while re-programming him decides to change his appearance from a menacing black coffee pot to that of a golden coffee pot with a friendly R2D2 dome. She dubs the robot Sparks (Formerly D3R765). Dr Cabell decides he is going to Delta-3 to stop Omus and prepares the Star Streak for takeoff. He decides he will lead a large, fully armed commando unit, equipped with offensive vehicles... oh wait this is a movie with an original Star Trek television budget so it's only him, his son Jason (Nicholas Campbell), Kim and Sparks. Meanwhile on Delta-3 the deposed governor Nikki (Carol Lynley) trains her rebel army outside the citadel and tries to contact the moon for help (Yeah don't worry babe help is on the way in the form of one aging scientist, a Luke Skywalker wannabe a hot blonde and a useless robot, what else do you need?). The strange thing about the citadel is that although it looks like it could house a large group of people the only inhabitants we see on Delta-3 are Nikki and her small band of loyalists and Omus with his robots. Okay whatever this is science fiction after-all.
Our heroes head for Delta-3 but there's a malfunction of the bullshit, bullshit and they need to head for Earth for repairs. There they try to get in contact with Charley Montgomery A caretaker of a way-station on Earth. When they land Kim disappears and Jason finds the corpse of poor Charley rotted away from radiation poisoning (Apparently they didn't have the money for another actor).
Jason commandeers an old jeep and tries to look for Kim. Man... this scene is unintentionally funny, when he takes off in the vehicle the film is sped up looking like one of those chase scenes from Benny Hill. He finds Kim in the midst of some children who are suffering from radiation sickness. The area is littered with unused and decrepit military machinery (A typical Canadian Forces base in the 70's) and these kids dress up in ghillie suits with MOST of them wearing platinum blonde wigs (two of them don't probably due to budget costs).
Jason decides the best thing to do is call the moon colony for help and try to get these kids to New Washington... no... no he just LEAVES THEM THERE to rot saying they must FIRST stop Omus and THEN come back for these kids. (Yeah, nice going there Solomon, by the time you get back they'll have wasted away to nothing).
On the planet Delta-3 Omus tries to track down Nikki (Is that her first or last name?) and her band of freedom fighters (A huge army somewhere numbering between nine and ten).
Later we cut back to the Star Streak where the crew encounter some freak magnetic storm giving the cast a chance to participate in the worst interpretive dance of zero gravity ever filmed. (See above clip). This scene also utilizes the most stunning FX ever seen since an episode of Mister Dressup.
They see another of Omus' suicide cargo ships heading for New Washington, Jason suggests launching a missile and Dr. Cabell objects saying their armaments systems are untested (The truth is that there were only two model spaceships built and they couldn't afford to blow one up). They just kind of shrug and continue on their way, not even bothering to call New Washington and give 'em the heads-up. When our heroes finally arrive on Delta-3 they meet with Nikki and her comrades and are immediately attacked by Omus' robots... and by immediate I mean slooooowly. The robots are lumbering and ungainly. Here's an example of their attack...
Notice the look of concern on Barry Morse's face; it's like "Excuse me, I don't have a line here".
All in all our heroes do their best to keep the robots at bay with their high tech cattle prods. (Apparently laser effects were too expensive). The attack is stopped suddenly by the appearance of Omus as a large disembodied head that is apparently spinning on a huge turn table. He requests an audience with Dr. Cabell and guides him towards his citadel with his guard robots in tow.
When Cabell meets Omus he tries to persuade him to give up his plans which sends him into a hissy fit about science and then he kills Cabell by donning a Dr. No helmet and subjecting the good doctor to death by epileptic disco lights. (No really). Sparks tries to contact the doctor but is ordered by Omus to surrender Dr. Cabell's ship.
Jason grows impatient and together with Kim and Nikki decides to look for his father. They find his corpse and see on the screen that Sparks is taking off in the Star Streak as per Omus' orders. Jason tells Kim and Nikki to get the others for help leaving him to confront Omus alone.
Meanwhile the Nikki irregulars are attacked by the killer robots who wipe out the lot of them. Omus tells Jason that he plans to blow up Delta-3 (Because he can I guess) and plans to return to the moon as the spiritual successor of the late Dr. Cabell... ... ... WTF? I love bad science fiction movies and even I don't understand this one. Jason manages to piss Omus off by calling him a murderer and he decides to subject the young hero to the killer disco light machine.
Nikki and Kim are caught by the killer robots and all seems lost until Sparks interferes and turns Omus' robots against him. Needless to say the villian dies, our heroes escape and Delta-3 blows up real good eliminating humanity's source for Radic Q-2. Of course this plot point is overlooked by the writers.
Oh look Linda Carter is listed as one of the extras in Nikki's army...
All in all this movie is as confusing and convoluted as Episode One... with just MUCH, MUCH cheaper FX.
So why do I harp on this film so much? I think it's the fact that it is Canadian and despite being so bad I still have a soft spot for it. Much like 2001 and Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Things to come is NOT geared towards those with short attention spans. However where the first two are like Ritalin TSOTTC is practically Sominex, you'll fall asleep despite your best efforts. I find Things to Come is like the story of the Special Ed kid trying to make the football team. You know you SHOULD root for him but deep down you can't help but launch ridicule at his efforts. The producers of this movie were reaching for the stars only to have their ship self-destruct during takeoff; a voyage of the damned.
Before I begin, I'd like to say that this review was inspired by Christopher Mills Space 1970 Blog whose write up encouraged me to find this title and try to watch it. I remember seeing this film as a child years ago and wanted to relive the experience. I ordered a DVD copy from Blue Underground. That being said I'll try to give my own perspective on this film without trying to plagiarize his article (Not too much anyway).
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| Opening exploding title letting you know you're in for a bomb. |
One may ask with actors like Barry Morse (Space:1999), John Ireland (Spartacus), Anne-Marie Martin (Buck Rogers) and Carol Lynley (The Poseidon Adventure), how could this movie go wrong? Very badly I'm afraid.
This film is not to be confused with the 1936 Alex Korda film Things to Come which is a much more faithful adaptation of Wells novel, (Considering that Wells actually participated in the process of that movie), this one is far, far, far, far, far worse... which makes it all the more fun. Be forewarned that this version is not for the faint of heart or for those suffering from ADD, for this film would make Dino DeLaurentis and Roger Corman look like Masterpiece Theatre. (Oh Raymond Massey, where are you?).
So without further ado let's begin with the plot.
That about sums it up... but seriously...
According to the opening crawl the time is the tomorrow after tomorrow, (You know you're in trouble when the opening credits need to be corrected by a grammar coach), just after the Great Robot Wars (a major plot point that I somehow missed in the Wells novel).
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| Moon base CNE. |
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| Wow, they're on the Moon and they've got sunshine and atmosphere and everything!!! |
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| Robot of doooom; "All your base are belong to us!!! |
Smedley is outraged at Dr. Cabell's show of heroism and threatens to stop his new ship. (Wow, this guy is a total dickhead) The question of exactly why this new vessel is so offensive to Senator Smedley's sensibilities is not really answered. Is the cost prohibitively expensive? Is it because the technology is untried? Was the entire engineering team comprised of former terrorists? No one knows. The city's central computer Lomax, also feels that Dr. Cabell's sentiments are out of line and feels that Smedley's course of action is the right one. You know for a computer that's supposed to run the city and serve humanity it's pretty callous to the well being of it's citizens. (Lomax is of course Bernie Lomax whose dead soul has been transferred into the electronic brain of the computer).
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| Kim with Lomax; "and now princess we will discuss the location of your hidden rebel base". |
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| Anne-Marie Martin from the Buck Rogers episode "Twiki is Misisng". |
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| Space babes Anne-Marie Martin and Carol Lynley's reaction when they found that their pay-cheques for this movie didn't clear. |
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| Taste the sting of my cattle prod villainous robots!!! |
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| See!!! The high tech interior of the Star Streak 3-M Duct tape works wonders!!! |
Jason decides the best thing to do is call the moon colony for help and try to get these kids to New Washington... no... no he just LEAVES THEM THERE to rot saying they must FIRST stop Omus and THEN come back for these kids. (Yeah, nice going there Solomon, by the time you get back they'll have wasted away to nothing).
On the planet Delta-3 Omus tries to track down Nikki (Is that her first or last name?) and her band of freedom fighters (A huge army somewhere numbering between nine and ten).
Later we cut back to the Star Streak where the crew encounter some freak magnetic storm giving the cast a chance to participate in the worst interpretive dance of zero gravity ever filmed. (See above clip). This scene also utilizes the most stunning FX ever seen since an episode of Mister Dressup.
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| Honeywell computers!!! The future is now!!! |
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| The second suicide ship. Somebody set us up the bomb. |
Notice the look of concern on Barry Morse's face; it's like "Excuse me, I don't have a line here".
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| Our heroes stand bravely in the field of battle... have lunch... paint their houses... change the brakes on their cars... fold their laundry and read their emails as the robots FINALLY get near enough to attack. |
When Cabell meets Omus he tries to persuade him to give up his plans which sends him into a hissy fit about science and then he kills Cabell by donning a Dr. No helmet and subjecting the good doctor to death by epileptic disco lights. (No really). Sparks tries to contact the doctor but is ordered by Omus to surrender Dr. Cabell's ship.
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| This is Omus... I don't need a last name!!! |
Meanwhile the Nikki irregulars are attacked by the killer robots who wipe out the lot of them. Omus tells Jason that he plans to blow up Delta-3 (Because he can I guess) and plans to return to the moon as the spiritual successor of the late Dr. Cabell... ... ... WTF? I love bad science fiction movies and even I don't understand this one. Jason manages to piss Omus off by calling him a murderer and he decides to subject the young hero to the killer disco light machine.
Nikki and Kim are caught by the killer robots and all seems lost until Sparks interferes and turns Omus' robots against him. Needless to say the villian dies, our heroes escape and Delta-3 blows up real good eliminating humanity's source for Radic Q-2. Of course this plot point is overlooked by the writers.
Oh look Linda Carter is listed as one of the extras in Nikki's army...
All in all this movie is as confusing and convoluted as Episode One... with just MUCH, MUCH cheaper FX.
So why do I harp on this film so much? I think it's the fact that it is Canadian and despite being so bad I still have a soft spot for it. Much like 2001 and Star Trek: The Motion Picture, Things to come is NOT geared towards those with short attention spans. However where the first two are like Ritalin TSOTTC is practically Sominex, you'll fall asleep despite your best efforts. I find Things to Come is like the story of the Special Ed kid trying to make the football team. You know you SHOULD root for him but deep down you can't help but launch ridicule at his efforts. The producers of this movie were reaching for the stars only to have their ship self-destruct during takeoff; a voyage of the damned.
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| I fear the future is doomed. |
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